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echoes from ashes
20 most recent entries





Date:2004-07-07 10:01
Subject:this is what happens when i dont get sleep
Security:Public

roiling boiling mortal coiling
bubbly burny muscley fat
hot tot buns covered up x mark scars
kissing but not telling or kissing just to have something to tell
bless me dearie what ever have i done
i can see through myself through your eyes seeing through me
squiggly wiggly little itty bitty wrinkly lines
twisted metal paperclips and bosium strips and naked women strip strip strip!
peel the flesh from bone to see
how beautifully red underneath can be
cluttered boxes hit the floor bursting open boxes bursting wide open boxes filled with mean little things that prod and prick and bruise
sly peeking perverted thief stealing long creamy glances from behind your tree
i see youuu! i do! i do!
say i do say do do do.
nasty sounding pumpkin pasties nasty looking english pastries
the sizzling skewered fat, the scars disguised
the truthful kiss and all kisses were lies
watch yourself watch YOURSELF reflected a hundred thousand times
furrowed brow overused but wrongly used mind
sick thoughts swimming in dying oozy gooeyness
pain pain pain pain window pane
food food food food food but not that kind never that kind
waaaaah!

4 candyflips| drop and roll
Date:2004-06-22 12:16
Subject:
Security:Public

alright i wrote this long ass entry yesterday but ended up closing the browser.. i dunno why i did that.. i dint even notice until i was closing the computer already and i remembered i was writing an entry. labo. anyway, i just woke up. my mother woke me up to tell me she made an appointment at the optometrist for 2 pm. then my appointment with the chiropractor is at 4. haaay. i might be getting glasses and she wants to make sure nothing happened to my back during the accident and other stuff..

anyway i met this guy over here. he's pats friend and cz's friends boyfriend. were planning to drop this friday. maybe as soon as david comes over. im sure we'll have plenty to talk about. he's a cool guy. i told him he was living the life i could only dream about for me before.

so there. that should be fun. he's tryina hook up the tabs tonight and if he does then were dropping tonight! he says he might bring back tabs for pat also. hehe. lucky bastard.

well i gotta get ready. dont wanna be late

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Date:2004-06-17 15:47
Subject:writing after you just woke up isnt a good idea..
Security:Public
Mood: lethargic

its my brothers birthday tomorrow.. that's why i hafta go back to the bay.. im just scared that i wont be able to come back here.. i still wanna see denise and em again before i leave so i hope we all go out tonight. anyways im bringin david with me so we'll have a reason to come back. my brother too. :) he's gonna be 21 and he can buy drinks for us. not that we need him to but yeah..

we went to funworx the other night.. its similar to boomers. an arcade/rides/batting cage/minigolf type of place. they wanted to go on the go-karts.. i just tagged along.. it was fuckin 25 dollars for two people so i said id go watch em. i dint really plan on riding anyway. but karen called me over after like ten minutes and she told me denise bought me an all day pass already. aiya. she wouldnt even let me pay her back.. sound familiar anyone? chinese girl. refuses to let you pay. wont take money no matter what unless you do something desperate like shove it inside her locked mailbox without her knowing?Ü im not used to having a girl pay for me.. i dont feel comfortable with that.. but i dint wanna seem ungrateful so i just said thanks. no way i was gonna win that battle anyway.

we went on the go-karts four times! fuck. it was fun pretending we were all racing and stuff. taking the turns as close to the rail as possible, like Takumi from Initial D. heh. loser. but the novelty was gone after the third time. i dint even wanna go on the fourth one anymore but nise was all begging so i caved. i was just cruising though. took the outside lane and let people pass me.
i wish i had a camera that night.. wanted to take pictures.. nise seemed sweeter than usual. i even made myself believe she got dressed up all cute just for me.. haha kapal. gah i dont wanna go tomorrow...

my tita and tito are actually offering to let me stay with em.. they said it'd make my cousin happy. he's had this sadness in him ever since he moved to the states. same as me i guess. i almost said yes a couple of times. who could ask for a better place for convalescence? at least here im surrounded by friends and it almost feels like home.. davids cool too. we get along real well and he's the only cousin who likes singing like i do. we always sing when were bored. heh. like yesterday we did all the old sunday slowdown songs like cupid, most beautiful girl, crave, 24/7, never no never, god must have spent a little more time on you, all that stuff. senti days in manila. haha. we were outside too and the kids across the street actually stopped playing to listen to us for a while. dyahe. but it was cool..

its 4:40 pm and half the day is gone. i just woke up like an hour ago since we stayed up till 8 this morning. im trying hard not to think about life so much.. i need to be numb to it for a while. i wanna pretend that im one of the kids playing across the street yesterday.. carefree.. life was much simpler then. i wish it had stayed that way. wish i hadnt taken it for granted like i did.. youth is wasted on the young.. or rather, it was wasted on me.

5 candyflips| drop and roll



Date:2004-06-16 06:42
Subject:Of Paper Hearts And Tinsel Stars
Security:Public
Mood: pissed off

theres a crumpled piece of paper in the place where my heart used to be.
i used to wear them side by side pinned on my sleeve, you were my world.
and i wore my world proudly like all the other unsuspecting fools.
FOOLS. i join your number this day.
another idiot who dared to love too much.
i should have left something for me. but at the time i dint really care.

i was in love. and in my world, i was king.

but Love, now you show your colors true.
what a traitor you turned out to be.
i pity myself for not seeing through your clever facade before i gave my heart away.

5 fucking mins fools. pardon the simplicity. wth did i do to deserve this..

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Date:2004-06-16 05:26
Subject:*splat* there goes my heart.
Security:Public
Mood: depressed

motherfucker! this is making me think twice! fuck! merda! what stupid fucking news! BAD VIBES. HORRIBLE FUCKING BULLSHIT VIBES! FSHDGSEL:JGSDJL:gJ!!!AWJKLGL:DFJKGL:SDKFGKSDL:FGJKSDFHL:JHL:jfglhjdfl;gjhsgjh;dfhjd'fgjlhasdopugf[sdphjyuf'jhl/dfhlk'dfghl'dfjgh'dfgjh'dfjghdrihdrhDJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this was the only thing i ever prayed for in my life. i needed this to be whole again! TANGINA!!! PUTAPUTAPUTAPUTA!!!!!!
PUTANGINANGTAENGPUKI-NGBAKLA!!!!!

ok. fuck this. so much for hope! fuck me! FUCKITY FUCK! to hell with it. VAFFANCULO PUTO!

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Date:2004-06-15 08:15
Subject:no sleep for me!
Security:Public
Mood: hyper

man! david and i just downed 7 beers a piece and were both just buzzed. whats wronggg?? lolx.. keeno just left.. we took phyl home cuz her parents were trippin already. we taught paolo how to play pusoy and tong its! yeah. haha just drank and played the whole night.. then when phyl and em were gone, david, keeno, and i just sat down and talked about the philippines and girls and stuff. hehe. twas fun. tonight was like filipino night.

we played cs as usual. i got some of my skillz back! i went on a 13-0 streak. haha. dumb white boys were hella praisin me. it feels good to be leading again. dang. sakit sa pride nung sobrang pangit score ko eh. haha.. as usual, i just spent loads of money here... dammit..

went to in n out for lunch. french fries animal style is delumptious! tangina! for an extra dollar its fuckin worth it! onga pala! if any of you ever eat there, just tell em to make your fries animal style. its like a secret thing you say and theyll add like toppings on your burger or fries or both! its not on the menu but theyll know it when you say it. :)

then we watched a movie! stupid garfield! it wasnt that funny! the plot was overused! waste of time and money... the short film at the start was funnier than the movie... DONT WATCH IT YOU GUYS. denise, karen, and dennis drove by the theatre for a while but they left again.. i shoulda gone out and went with em instead but i was drivin and i already payed 9 bucks for that dumb movie.

we ate at dennys after cuz david wanted to get the sampler.. i just mooched off his onion rings. heh.
then thats when i found out fuckin cingular cut off my damn line. i dunno why... maybe my tita dint pay for it on time... i was wondering why denise wasnt replying.. yun pala wala nakong line. tae!!!!!! i hate this... my phones just a $400 paperweight again. we found out phyl had like hella sex messages on her phone that she sent to her boy jeff!!! tangina! she was sayin stuff like i want you to ram your dick in my pussy and shit like that! gulat ako! we were teasing her the whole night cuza that!!!! KADIREEEE!!!!! hornyyyyyyy biaaaatccchhhhh! so yeah, then we came home and keeno and em came with us and we drank. DRANK but dint get DRUNK. wasted beers!!!!

hmm.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVID ABAD!! and uhh.. hooray for the sun!

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Date:2004-06-14 12:34
Subject:stolen from Jiro-sans little sister, Sabs..
Security:Public
Mood: excited

Check it out, im getting hooked up with triple stacks later! to my knowledge the fattest tabs that have ever reached philippine shores are double stacks. YEAAAH. yellow suns daw or something. the rock, the river, the tree... the rock, the river, the tree..... ECSTASY!
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Date:2004-06-13 13:51
Subject:just some carshow pics
Security:Public
Mood: bored

these might take a while to load... sorry too lazy to fix em..
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Date:2004-06-13 03:23
Subject:vaffanculo!!
Security:Public
Mood:DAMN LAZY

ok.. we dint leave the house till 5 pm! it was partly my fault tho cuz i couldnt stop watching initial D. fun fun anime about this guy who's really good at drifting and he beats all these big headed street racers. thing is his cars shit. its like a ten year old hatch back and he's racing against skylines and evo's. he always loses on the straightaway but he catches up on the corners cuz he doesnt slow down at all. he's so good at drifting, he can do it even if he comes to the corner at over a hundred miles per hour. pretty fun. i like it anyway.. wish i knew how to drift like that.

when we finally left, our first stop was the mall. we checked out a few stores.. american eagle outfitters sells exactly the same stuff abercrombie does! same style, same everything. maybe theyre racist too. haha.
then we hit the cd warehouse. i was gonna get david his graduation gift there but he couldnt pick out anything.. ill just give him one before i leave. blah. malls here are boring as hell. i was craving for jamba juice so we dropped by there next. i got mango with an energy boost. dint do shit. mahal pa. i woulda been better off with a frap.

then we went to keeno's house after. he wasn't there though. it was just vuthi and keeno's older bro aaron. aaron's flip and vuthi's cambodian(he sounds exactly like diego but diego's pogi-er haha). anyway, aaron kept sayin how david and i couldnt be cousins cuz i looked hella viet or korean. he said "you look like one of them other white asians" tangina kasi mga pinoy dito lahat galing probinsya! tae. im not hatin. it just annoys me when people here keep sayin i cant be flip cuz im too white. its bad enough when other asians say it but when other filipinos say it too.. grr..
so they were washin cars when we got there. david told me that they used keeno's garage as "the garage." they had almost everything you need to fix up your car. aaron was pretty cool. he kept talking about stuff back home and asked a lotta questions. we talked bout how filipinos dont have any imagination and how all the drag racers there just have SI R's. shiiit. i wanted an SI R too when i was there. an orange one... like all the other cool kids. hahahaha.

we were planning to go out and drink after dinner but my tita invited us to watch a movie.... there go our plans.. watched chronicles of riddick. it was okaay... vin diesel is still fuckin bad ass. i mean a lotta people said it sucked but i liked it. yeah... i tried to get denise to come with us but she had to work. damn that girl. she always busy. then she got stuck in oakdale so we couldnt kick it after either. maybe tomorrow.. or whatever. heh. she's still tryina get me to quit smoking. i told her i wouldnt smoke for a day for a hug. she just said "lol. whatever. stupid" haha ;p she says stupid so cute. with a funny twang and without the d. lolx.

david just played final fantasy X when we got home. and i passed out on the couch. lazy fool. heck, we both were. ang init kasi eh. he woke me up round 3 for one last smoke before bed. sarap sa labas. mas malamig ng konti. aiyaa. were goin to mass tomorrow. ayokooooooooo..... haay sige. tulog na si bumbum.

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Date:2004-06-12 11:55
Subject:ok on to the real stuff.
Security:Public
Mood: restless

yesterday was david's grad day. i met so many people yesterday, i dunno if i'll be able to remember their names. but anyway, here's how the day went. some of his friends came over in the morning and we drove to turlock for brunch. we drove my tita's car and his friends were in two other cars. i was a bit weirded out cuz the car we were following kept tripping. the fool was swerving all over the place and he kept doing left and right signals. thats when my cousin told me that the guys driving were damn racers. kaya pala. crazy azn kids. i did my best to keep up tho but since our car wasnt tricked up like theirs was, everytime they gassed it, we got smoked. but it was fun. letting lose and driving all crazy again. i felt free.. i put on my armor of immortality again just for that day or maybe for my whole stay in motown. we were doing stunts on the freeway like theyd speed up one car in front of the other and leave me a space in the middle. then id come in and get in the space they left. adrenalin rush! so we dropped by this guys place.. he looked amazingly like raf.. seriously.. but he was viet.. anyway, he was showing them some shocks and other car parts he just bought for like a grand. tangina yan.. expensive hobby this street racing eh? they were all kids younger than me too!..

afterwards we went to eat at deChina buffet. yeaah. they had goood foooooddddd. all you can eat for 7 dollars! they even had baked mussels! tahong pucha! sarap!!!! waaaah! sinulit namin yun bayad. haha. afterwards, it was just david and i goin home. we dropped by pronet and i played cs for the first time since october.. it wasnt a pretty sight... i disappointed some of the people that were waitin for me to come back since they saw me play last year. vuthi was like, damn man, i had respect for you. haha. i said, well now i dont even have respect for myself.. this is what i get for not playing for 8 months. humility. taught by the hands of goddamn noobs. bah. screw it. i need to practice again...

next it was davids grad! it lasted hecka long! we were there for like 3 hours? but there was plenty to see though so i dint get that bored. and melissa was there too so i had someone sorta my age to talk to. its funny i can talk to her now since i used to have a huge crush on her. here she is with my cousin david.
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then! we ate at kirin! japanese restaurant!! we got this funny japanese man to cook for us! he was telling us stories about his daughter and how his life was when he first got to the states. he told us stories while he twirled his knives, and flipped shrimp over his back. really entertaining! shirley temples are fun!!!!! i tried twisting the cherry stalk into a not but i could knot. yak. corny ko. so to this day, tim's the only one i've seen do it. (yes ladies, that's supposed to mean he's got a wicked tongue) haha im pimpin you off buddy! sorry sorry...

the night wasnt done yet. when we got home, there were balloons on the door from denise! so we called her up and she said she was on her way to in n out. then we asked her if she wanted to kick it for a bit. so we met up with her there and she gave me my christmas present. yeaaah finallyyy.. she's had it since december. dang. need to get her something now. haha. she came with karen and we just watched em eat. i kept teasing david that he was making moves on nise. but of course we talked in our secret code.. good to be filipino! haha! since they were both chinese, we were safe. roar. we were gonna meet up with her again after she dropped karen off but when she drove by the house we werent there. we were at goddamn pronet and david told her we were goin home so she dint bother gettin off there. g;rnjsklghklhglr'h!!!! stupid! i dint feel like playin anymore after that so we just got coffee then went home for some much needed sleep. david's still sleeping and im writing cuz i'm the only one awake and im bored. ill go play gunbound now. yes. adik.

sulit na araw! daming nangyari! ganyan dapat lahat! tonight, we drink!

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Date:2004-06-12 10:43
Subject:
Security:Public

i just had the weirdest, scariest, and most fucked up dream ever... first i owned a huge mansion.. for some reason i had a whole lot of stone disks with pictures of rhino's on em. (imagine monster rancher disks) then i come home one day and theyre all broken.. so im hecka mad right? and i knew who did it too. this fucked up family of rhino-worshipping hillbillies who lived in a shanty on an island somewhere. they destroyed my disks cuz they thought it was sacrilege or something..(you ever watched that movie wrong turn with eliza dushku and emmanuelle chriqui? the crazy deformed hillbillies there? thats how they looked.) anyway, i set up this expedition to avenge what they did right.. and i had a small tribe of indian braves on my payroll. all of a sudden i had a huge weapon collection and i gave them ancient weapons of war for use in the battle.. then when we were just about to leave, the dream sorta jumped... i was in my lola's house all of a sudden.. the one that burned down... and i killed three people i knew... i dont know how i knew them but while i was having the dream, i felt like i did... i got it in my head somehow that they were spawns of satan and the only way to kill them was to drown them in a small cubic swimming pool that conveniently appeared where my brothers bed used to be in that house. first i tried to kill a baby... my tita's baby that she doesnt really have in real life. she just had one there.. so yeah there... then my tita's 4 year old son.. which she doesnt have either...but somehow they both survived.. thats when i realized that the only way to kill them was to drown them.. so my next victim was this american woman in her late thirties or early fourties.. she even had demonic powers and stuff.. and she was tryina kill me too... then it was just this hella long scene where i was holding her head underwater and i was squeezing her nostrils so she couldnt breathe and she'd die faster... i could picture every fucking moment. i could see her head under the water. her eyes were bulging out and shit.i watched as every bit of life escaped from her lips.. that's when my tita's son wakes up all disoriented and starts mumbling that kuya bam tried to kill him.. the woman was my only successful kill.. and i stepped out of the pool.. then everyone was suddenly closing in on me.. this weird dream family closing in. asking me what the hell was wrong with me... and why there was a dead woman on my brothers bed. putangina then i woke up... this is like the first time ive ever remembered a dream/nightmare so i just had to write it down before i forgot about it... it was a freaky ass dream and i woke up really fucking scared and i felt twisted in the head. tangina! i think there's something wrong with me man...

7 candyflips| drop and roll



Date:2004-06-10 11:05
Subject:
Security:Public
Mood: confused

later tonight ill be on my way to my cousin greg dabid! yehey :p it's his graduation tomorrow and were eating out!!!! sushi!!1 nyarr!

it feels good to be driving a stick shift again. automatics are just damn boring. kahit papaano my moms old beemer has some kick in it still. the insurance company's giving me a shitload of stress with my car. TANGINA. THE INSURANCE COMPANY IS NOT YOUR FRIEND! screw them. they are the best fucking symbols for hypocracy! TD BUS! HEEPOHKREETO!

ho hum. i dont think i'll be able to weed the garden before i hafta leave. sayang.. 20 doolars din yun.. need to put my clothes in the wash too... i think ill just put it all in cold wash so i dont hafta sort em out... i hate sorting out clothes and i dont really have that much time...

hay nako...... waaaaaaaaah! i had something good to say.. but i forgot.. waaaah! next time nalang.. too pressed for time to think properly. LACE! you better not have slept in the car! dont forget what i taught you!! grab, twist, and crush! hit him where it hurts if he tries anything! aiyaa

we printed out the lasalle application last night.. and some other info also.. then my mom saw that you can submit SAT scores to ateneo instead of takin the ACET. hmm.. i dont really wanna go to taeneo but i wanna find out if i can make it just to slay one of my personal demons. maybe 1210 is good enough and maybe not. astig if it is though. i need goddamn recommendation letters from a teacher or the principal! waaah! who's gonna recommend someone with crap grades and shit performance?! tangina! maybe my prep teacher...... hahahaha!

i hate it that david and diegs are here in the states and i wont get to see them. tangina. haxor saxor! if only i had money id pay for their tickets! wish i still had my job..

imma go. real world san diego is on. wah! jamie my love! jamie! jamie!!! hotnesss! lipss! asian girlfriend wishful thinking hotness gigil!

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Date:2004-06-09 06:10
Subject:hmm
Security:Public
Mood: sleepy

just one last update before goin to bed...
okay, things i've realized in the past 48 hours:

1) my crush on Lindsay Lohan during her Parent Trap days wasnt badly placed. she is now cute as heck and her boobs are huge too.

2) Hermoine is fucking hot now. shes fucking girlfriend material. gah! that scene where Emma Watson and Daniel Radcliffe were hiding from the werewolf was sweet. i wanted to be Harry Pothead so bad.... haha.

3) after waiting a year for a first glimpse of Cho Chang, they decide not to show her at all. screw that. gotta wait for part 4......

4) my mom is the one person in my family who still cares about my happiness and is still willing to leave my life in my own hands.

5) i think the reason why drug cinema fascinates me so much is because i really am an addict like everyone says. hah. first stage is acceptance. no matter what i try to do people will still think i'm that way. might as well assimilate it instead of trying to deny it all the time. thing is, i dont really give a fuck.

6) anthony kicked my ass at gunbound.

7) i really need to get more sleep.

8) im tired of being a goddamn anything elitist. i like pop as much as i like rock. and happy house as much as i like hard trance. i even go for candy trance sometimes and i think heaven is still a pretty good song. i draw the line on candy pop and candy rock but sometimes they amuse me too. i still like some good charlotte songs, and i still love goddamn NFG. i like finch even if people say they're glassjaw rip-offs. i wouldnt even know glassjaw if i dint listen to finch first. blah. stop the coolness. im content with being eclectic. i like it. just dont give me any of that vengaboys crap or country and i'll listen to it.

i dont know what my tita's intention was when she told me that sooner or later all my friends would leave me. and in the end, they (my family) are the only ones who'll be there for me... it sounded really wrong to me... maybe thats a life lesson she learned while growing up.. i dunno.. i just hope its not true for everyone..

18 candyflips| drop and roll



Date:2004-06-08 04:52
Subject:
Security:Public

ooh! and machobokalertifus and i have a plan! a marvelous plan! one time big time! due to the shortage of meth in the PI right now, if the plan works we shall be gods!!! GODS!! BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP THE GROUND WE TREAD ON! AN ARMY OF SLEEPLESS ZOMBIES RISING TO OUR EVERY WHIM! actually.... im exaggerating a ton... but it's still good money if i dont get caught... speed, chalk, glass, bang, ice, crank, boof, shit, slam, whatever. that's what i'll be bringin. sana walang aso.

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Date:2004-06-08 04:22
Subject:
Security:Public
Mood: determined

ORSEM! i wanted to go! waah! ANTHONY! my blood brother in spirit!!! protect our stars! waaaah! i beg of you!!!! protect them from being mobbed by horny devils!!!!! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!!!1 protect the starssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss! you must you must!!!! protect them and i will order you the yamakasi video!!!! protect them!!!!!! for as long as they need protecting! waaaaaaaaah!!! goddamn!!! goddamn girl crazy freshies and cradle hunting pedophilia-practicing mother humpers!!!!!!!@! this is driving me nucking futs!!!!! YAMAKASI!!! WAAAH! PROTECT!!! CIRCLE OF PROTECTION RED WHITE BLUE GREEN AND BLACK! HIDE THEIR VIRGIN FACES FROM THOSE HUNGRY SALIVATING MONSTERS THAT LURK INSIDE PA-CUTE EFFECT SHELLS!!!!! MY STARS ARE NAKED!!!!! THEY NEED YOUR ARMORRRRR... I NEED YOUR ARMOR MY BROTHERRRRRRRR........................... this is my plea for help! for service! my favor house atlantic!!!!! gather your armies... constant vigilance says mad-eye! CONSTANT VIGILANCE SAYS I! GOOD EYE SNIPER!!! ILL SHOOT YOU WRITE! THE WORDS WE SCRIBBLED ON THE WALLS. ARE YOU IN OR ARE YOU OUT!? GRGAAAH!!!!

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Date:2004-06-07 11:36
Subject:i think i just got hit on..
Security:Public

my cousin took us to this filipino day festival thing where i saw the largest group of filipinos ever in the states. there were all different mixes! astig! i even saw chinese mixes for the first time ever. reminded me of home! haha! so much hotness in one place... woweeee..... anyway, we were watchin this variety show with different presentations like arnis exhibitions, dancing and singing. there were 2 hot girls doing a hawaiian dance! they had the coconuts on boobs thing and all that! i asked my cousin to take pictures so i could post em up soon. hehe. then there were some people who sang rnb. galing kumanta ng mga pinoy dito tangina. parang kai or uhh basta parang egoy boses nila lahat. so there variety show! one of my cousins friends sees me playing with my tongue ring. then shes like "you have your tongue pierced! can i see?" so i stick it out. then she goes "ooh, it must be fun to make out with you huh?" then *snap* everyone turns to look at her. and im just there too surprised to say anything and shes just smiling. in my head im like oh yeah! woohoo! my cousin saved me, she was all shocked and talkin to her friend about hittin on her cousin and blablabla.. ;p woohoo! score! hahahaha ang totoy ko. but still! woohoo!

oh and i was watchin the filipino channel the whole time i was there. i saw this questor blabla thing on tv. that sandara chick is hot! she cant speak english or filipino for shit but shes cuuuuuuuuuteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee maaaaaaan!!!!!!!!!!!!! HWOW! HWOW! kakatawa though.. parang ever since tenentententen starstruck! puro american idol rip offs na yun ginagawa na mga gimmick.. haha malay... well, im gonna go do my traffic school thing first. i think its due this week...laters

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Date:2004-06-05 07:57
Subject:hmm huy O-boys! meet Ivanna Corcuera
Security:Public




kamukha niya diba? wahaahha

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Date:2004-06-05 07:10
Subject:KOGNAG!
Security:Public
Mood: cheerful

i just picked my ass up from the floor. it's 6:40 am. i must've passed out. dang. and they finished all the bacardi silvers! grr.. i just remember watchin this fast and the furious copycat movie starring Chris Cormack, the guy who plays Luke Ward in the OC. he was playin the Brian Spilner character. the cracker with the sweet ride. im still hating on the PI showing the OC durr. all de oh my coolness kids will be all into it like smallville and the rest. i can so see that already. blah.

we flew in from LA on thursday night. my mother picked us up from Oakland then we met up with my cousin and her friend cuz we were stayin with em at sactown for the weekend cuz its her sisters graduation. i never really got along with this cousin that well. like she was sent to the PI for a couple years cuz she was messed up over here. i dunno, maybe we just dint jive cuz maybe she thought i was too goody goody (that was around 7th grade to sophomore year i think) and i thought she was el slut-oh, e popper, lsd dropper, weed smoker, extreme-oh, because she was. my barkada knows who im talkin bout. she the one who got it on with one of my friends while all of us were in the same room. hahaha. but yeah, she's better now. still a bitch but i've been makin an effort to make us closer. it seems to be workin and im glad. im sick of hatin on her and she bitchin on me. so i thought id show her some love and see if she decides to act grown up, and she does. so yeah its all good with us now thank god.

anyway, we bought some drinks before goin home. we got hypnotiQ and some hen. i just wanna say, hypnotiq is the shit. tangina. i wanna bring a couple bottles home with me para sa mga inuman kanila joe. seriously. its hecka good but really strong too. like i felt a rush on my first sip and thats never happened to me with any other drink before. my cousin says you can get buzzed by your third mug. so yeah there, it was my cousin, my bro, and i, and we finished a bottle of hypnotiq and left like 1/4th of the hennessy. my damn cousin was tryin to check if i was a fob or not by asking me to read cognac on the hen bottle. tangina yan. she says she knows some hella fob asians who pronounced it kognack. bwahahaha. we were trippin on it the whole night till it eventually evolved from kognack to kognag. i shall call cognac kognag from now on. :p

tired and tipsy as i was though, i stayed up and played gunbound the whole night. haha. now i know how lace feels whenever she plays ragnarok. so what ended up happening was i was fallin asleep everywhere the whole day. i couldnt even keep my eyes open durin the graduation. damn. haha. we went out for dinner afterwards. just us cousins. there were 12 of us and it was hella fun. antonette (my cuz who graduated) dint come cuz she had like a grad night thing afterwards. but yeah i ate so much! honey chicken and shrimp fried in batter with garlic mashed potatoes and french toast. woot! what made it fun though was hangin with all those kids my age. we had like 7 girls in the group and it was damn noisy! kakahiya nga nung una kasi sobrang ingay talga nila. they were all like 18 to 21 years old. and the 21 year olds were all flashin their ID's and buyin drinks. tae yan. daya pucha >:( but when i saw none of the other people really minded i dint anymore either. we bought two 6 packs of bacardi silver on the way home just to end the night right. and that brings us to where i am now. i woke up and antonette's not home yet. hmmm i think she and her boyfriend got freaky deaky last night. woot.

whew. there. i shoulda been livin like this from the start! wah. siguro ang saya ko dito kung ganito buhay ko dati pa. hahahahaha. ill go play gunbound again now. roar!

7 candyflips| drop and roll



Date:2004-05-29 06:41
Subject:
Security:Public

a lone figure twirling in the middle of a room.
a spark. a line. a breath.
dizzy yet?
nothing holds. nothing sticks for more than a moment.
you need a push to help you spin.
perfect hit. a pat on the back. a gesture of gratitude for a service well done.
think fast. move faster.
fast enough to warp colors and worlds. blend lives and dreams.
time has been given more powerful wings.
smear naked souls onto your canvass.
pause in mid-creation. feed more fuel to the fire!
a spark, a line, and a breath or two.
stand back and watch your picture paint itself.
one poison follows another.
too long ignored, one of your desires has forgotten its name.
all that matters now is what waits to be made.
a racing heart warns of a twisted promise, a false whisper of immortality.
life, the spark no longer yields.
of the once proud line, but a stain remains.
no breath can be drawn from empty vessels.
whats left of crystal stars can no longer be seen.
a release. a war. an eternity and more.
living only for that next spark, and a future of endless lines.
so crash down.
crash forever.
trip.
fall.
drop.
roll.
get spun..
but spin slow.

6 candyflips| drop and roll



Date:2004-05-28 01:39
Subject:i'll trade you my life for a second chance.
Security:Public
Mood: tired

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38 candyflips| drop and roll


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